The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
