Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
