He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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