Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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