guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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