so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
