I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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