idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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