I am spending my child support on dildos
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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