As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
