How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
