There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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