i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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