I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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