yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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