youre lurking in front of me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
