Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
