He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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