can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
