Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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