Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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