quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
