you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
