just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
