I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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