Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
