And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Small penises have feelings too.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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