How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
