forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
