North Korea, Best Korea!
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
