Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
