They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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