i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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