best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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