is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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