i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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