He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
