She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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