(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
