ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
