i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
