so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
