I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
