Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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