chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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