i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
