That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
only you would photoshop your dick
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
