I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
