chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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