she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
vagina is talking i cant
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
