Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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