Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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