as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
