so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
