bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
