Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize