Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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