Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
