She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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