I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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